My furnace had not been working for the last few weeks so the recent cold front made my house cold and uncomfortable.
The service guy came by last Saturday to resolve this issue. I quickly told him about my problem and he then started to brag about his tool bag - how its all in one, easy to carry and has a spot for his drill...etc. (Aside: Yes I do have conversations with random visitors to my home. Sure his tool bag looked like all the others I had seen before - but he was happy and so was I. He was not charging by the hour.)
Finally he took a look at my furnace and turns to me with that look in his eyes and I jokingly say "if the worse case scenario is going through your mind right now please do not say it out loud." I did not want to be jinxed and have Murphy's law invoked prematurely. He responds philosophically, "do you believe in the strength of words? I do. Its actually in the Bible in the book of John. Do you know you can hurt and kill someone with your words?"
I pondered this statement for a moment and agreed with him. Words can kill more than just someone's spirit. They have the strength of a bullet. Disrespectful words can make someone feel like a loser, nasty words can destroy self-esteem and unkind words can break a person's heart.
Needless to say at the end of the visit he placed my bill on a book that he slid across my brand new dining room table with too much downward pressure. He left a minor scratch mark - on my table. I opted to forcefully but nicely point out the scratch and did not kill him with my words especially since the worse case scenario had not been the issue with my furnace.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Two questions we all hate
I met new buddies on Friday. I was not really trying, my shirt was not cleavage bearing and I was drinking my usual soda and lemon. Pretty tamed for a Friday. But all together puzzling and shocking. Like, this is not supposed to happen in DC.
So here is the scenario. Keep in mind I am changing their names for privacy reasons. I am meeting one of my good friends and she is running late so I hang out at the bar, order something to drink and just make merry with myself. The guy to my left is friendly enough and a few minutes after I sit down another guy shows up. Lets call him Carl. We start to talk about life, family, where he/I grew up, living in DC. Fun times.
A few minutes later his friend shows up at around the same time my friend does. We both start speaking to our respective friends and then the expected introductions are made. Right away my friend also an attorney goes for the DC jugular (read in slow motion) - “Where do you work? What do you do?” The guys are polite. The convo turns to work. We all go back to our cocoons. She and I start talking about Bikram “hot” yoga and how I will never do it again - self-inflicted suffering I say - and how she just loves loves loves it. I am more into Vinyasa nowadays. Whatevs. The guys talk about whatever.
So when the yoga talks wind down I figure I was on a role meeting new people so we might as well keep the momentum going. Brief talks to the guy on the left about spilled beer now back to Carl and friend. Right away we start talking about the social scene in DC and Friend of Carl (FOC) says “I hate it when people here ask me right off the bat - ‘where do you work? what do you do?” My friend says she knows it sucks when she asks those questions but it has become a bad habit after living in the area for over 5 years.
Interesting. Everyone complains about these questions and yet they give life to the cycle by mentioning them at every outing. Well I have boycotted these types of questions. They label DC folks or folks in general as stuffy and the type of people who only care about aesthetics and credentials. In the end and in most circles these become a game of one up. And who wants to be one upped by someone or given a snotty look because you just aren’t worthy to be talking to them. What a downer! Doesn’t the old adage go if you don’t want to answer the same question don’t ask it in the first place. What a quick way to end what could have been a great conversation about childhood mishaps and hobbies.
Maybe I have it backwards but I find that I am more attracted to people who have more dimension to their personality and character than work. It’s a given that most people you meet will be employed. Not all of them can be potential mates but some can be potential buddies.
What kind of dinner party could you have with stuffy people who only like talking about work - how fun can that be. And then again keep asking those questions and you will never meet enough folks to invite to dinner.
So here is the scenario. Keep in mind I am changing their names for privacy reasons. I am meeting one of my good friends and she is running late so I hang out at the bar, order something to drink and just make merry with myself. The guy to my left is friendly enough and a few minutes after I sit down another guy shows up. Lets call him Carl. We start to talk about life, family, where he/I grew up, living in DC. Fun times.
A few minutes later his friend shows up at around the same time my friend does. We both start speaking to our respective friends and then the expected introductions are made. Right away my friend also an attorney goes for the DC jugular (read in slow motion) - “Where do you work? What do you do?” The guys are polite. The convo turns to work. We all go back to our cocoons. She and I start talking about Bikram “hot” yoga and how I will never do it again - self-inflicted suffering I say - and how she just loves loves loves it. I am more into Vinyasa nowadays. Whatevs. The guys talk about whatever.
So when the yoga talks wind down I figure I was on a role meeting new people so we might as well keep the momentum going. Brief talks to the guy on the left about spilled beer now back to Carl and friend. Right away we start talking about the social scene in DC and Friend of Carl (FOC) says “I hate it when people here ask me right off the bat - ‘where do you work? what do you do?” My friend says she knows it sucks when she asks those questions but it has become a bad habit after living in the area for over 5 years.
Interesting. Everyone complains about these questions and yet they give life to the cycle by mentioning them at every outing. Well I have boycotted these types of questions. They label DC folks or folks in general as stuffy and the type of people who only care about aesthetics and credentials. In the end and in most circles these become a game of one up. And who wants to be one upped by someone or given a snotty look because you just aren’t worthy to be talking to them. What a downer! Doesn’t the old adage go if you don’t want to answer the same question don’t ask it in the first place. What a quick way to end what could have been a great conversation about childhood mishaps and hobbies.
Maybe I have it backwards but I find that I am more attracted to people who have more dimension to their personality and character than work. It’s a given that most people you meet will be employed. Not all of them can be potential mates but some can be potential buddies.
What kind of dinner party could you have with stuffy people who only like talking about work - how fun can that be. And then again keep asking those questions and you will never meet enough folks to invite to dinner.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Fun with t-shirts...Tall Is Her Body
Hi Everyone,
My sister Fiona has been fundraising for her thesis film project for about a year now. To help her raise money I have been deconstructing t-shirts for her. The designs are quirky and fun. Check out her blog http://www.tallisherbody.blogspot.com and buy a t-shirt or donate $$$ to show your support!
Here are some of the shirts....
Hugs,
-H
My sister Fiona has been fundraising for her thesis film project for about a year now. To help her raise money I have been deconstructing t-shirts for her. The designs are quirky and fun. Check out her blog http://www.tallisherbody.blogspot.com and buy a t-shirt or donate $$$ to show your support!
Here are some of the shirts....
Hugs,
-H
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Decisions, Decisions.
On our first day at work I found myself less intrigued by the multitude of forms placed before me in the conference room and more fascinated by the cornrowed hair of my new co-worker. We were at this prestigious NY law firm for a summer internship that would eventually lead to full time employment post-graduation and there she was wearing braids. Shocking! But more importantly - I was surprised but yet relieved that her fashion choice might draw attention away from my ½ inch long curls. Why was it even an issue? We were both employed on our individual academic merit as students from tier one law schools.
We have all grown up hearing that the biggest balancing act we will face during our professional careers will be balancing work and family. But for some single and dating professional women without families the current scales of life entail balancing our professional fashion sense with our personal stylistic leanings.
Some women like Raymone Bain, publicist extraordinaire and recent focus of a Washington Post piece have an easier time at this task since she does not work in a corporate environment and because her job entails her being in the public eye. Her various employers have all been in the entertainment industry so there is less a faux pas about not wearing the right colors, accessories or hairstyle. She can wear the designer jeans with the blazer or the red suit and her job will not be in jeopardy.
For most women designer jeans and a red suit are not practical options for work. Our professional wardrobe is limited both by our insecurities and by unwritten rules of the workplace. So, beyond the everyday uniform which may consist of dark slacks and collared shirt, every outfit might be a challenge for some. For men, however, the idea of business casual means simply a suit without the jacket or tie. Eventhough they often seem jealous that we have more options than they do, I think women have the proverbial shorter end of the stick. Our abundance of choices often lead to more noticeable lapse in judgment. We also have the dilemma of wondering "should I run the rouge brush over my cheeks a third time, or do I wear the female version of the male uniform - a skirt or pair of slacks with a collared shirt and pearls or do I go with the wrap floral print and the bodacious brooch? What do I wear that would keep the gaze of a potential networking contact on my pupils and not my cleavage or rear end or even my legs." After all this time and effort who is the judge of what is correct and appropriate? What are the criteria if there are really any at all?
All an all, I have learned especially when I wore my hair short and from observing daring professional women that with self-confidence and a levelled chin nothing especially an outfit choice will overshadow You.
We have all grown up hearing that the biggest balancing act we will face during our professional careers will be balancing work and family. But for some single and dating professional women without families the current scales of life entail balancing our professional fashion sense with our personal stylistic leanings.
Some women like Raymone Bain, publicist extraordinaire and recent focus of a Washington Post piece have an easier time at this task since she does not work in a corporate environment and because her job entails her being in the public eye. Her various employers have all been in the entertainment industry so there is less a faux pas about not wearing the right colors, accessories or hairstyle. She can wear the designer jeans with the blazer or the red suit and her job will not be in jeopardy.
For most women designer jeans and a red suit are not practical options for work. Our professional wardrobe is limited both by our insecurities and by unwritten rules of the workplace. So, beyond the everyday uniform which may consist of dark slacks and collared shirt, every outfit might be a challenge for some. For men, however, the idea of business casual means simply a suit without the jacket or tie. Eventhough they often seem jealous that we have more options than they do, I think women have the proverbial shorter end of the stick. Our abundance of choices often lead to more noticeable lapse in judgment. We also have the dilemma of wondering "should I run the rouge brush over my cheeks a third time, or do I wear the female version of the male uniform - a skirt or pair of slacks with a collared shirt and pearls or do I go with the wrap floral print and the bodacious brooch? What do I wear that would keep the gaze of a potential networking contact on my pupils and not my cleavage or rear end or even my legs." After all this time and effort who is the judge of what is correct and appropriate? What are the criteria if there are really any at all?
All an all, I have learned especially when I wore my hair short and from observing daring professional women that with self-confidence and a levelled chin nothing especially an outfit choice will overshadow You.
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